When it comes to patience, I like to think that I'm somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I certainly wouldn't claim to be very patient, but I generally do try to talk myself into extending my level of calm when necessary.
The current case in question that brought this middah to mind: the fact that BB has yet to inform me whether or not he will be staying with me as of tomorrow night.
Now, I don't really mind that he didn't let me know as I had originally asked by Monday, because I understand that he's waiting to hear back from his friends. And when last night came and went, which was the deadline he had himself set for informing me one way or another, I assumed he was of course, still waiting. Since his friends are in Williamsburg, I understand that they operate on a Chassidishe concept and approach to time.
The snafu comes in with the fact that I'm Yekki, not Chassidishe. As such, I have my usual weekday list of What to Do Each Night in preparation for Shabbos, etc. Add to the mix that yesterday I received a staggering amount of work, all due Friday. In short, I'm totally stressed out, because I'm beginning to recognize that my list of What to Do will probably not get done. For a Yekki to have to start thinking about doing things quickly instead of leisurely, or to not do them at all- well, suffice it to say that such a situation is perhaps the most frustrating of all.
So about an hour ago I found my patience really waning due to the pressure cooker factor. I decided, in an attempt to let patience and restraint prevail, to default the increasing pressure by phoning my brother. Seven Ricola candies, and one even more sore throat than I thought humanly possible later, and still no word from the Chassidshe friend. But promises to know by tomorrow morning.
Having deflated the unbearable pressure though, that's okay. And hey, if I don't end up cleaning my floors or the washroom before Shabbos, the world won't end.
Well, okay, maybe for me it will. But at least I was okay there for a few seconds, right?
Hey, I am not a Yekki, but I have been diagnosed with OCD by my charming siblings a long time ago. I also had lists, orders, and rituals. And then all the energy left me, and I decided that to heck with it, Hashem is not going to be upset with me if my apartment was a mess on Shabat. Maybe I am just getting old?
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