Since my brother's basic nature since birth is Mr. Social to the nine-millionth degree, I know full well that if he does not stay with me, I will not see him except for the hour or so he'll pencil me in for- during which time a very conservative 45 minutes will be devoted to receiving phone calls from his never-ending stream of friends. As fitting to his crown (Mr. Popular), he knows half of New York, and is currently sussing out his options in the lodging department. Upon hearing that staying with me was basically his "safety" option, we entered comedy routine territory, in which I basically played the role of Cheerleader in what I will title "Stay with Me!".
- Me: Listen, just stay with me...
- Big Brother: Wow, that's so nice. (Long pause to be polite before getting down into the nitty-gritty) Well, how far are you from Boro Park?
- Me (thinking YAY, one point for stay with me!): Oh, very close. You can walk in. I'm right on the border.
- Big Brother: How far a walk is it?
- Me (palms beginning to sweat): Well, uhm, it depends of course how far in you're going...
- Big Brother: What? Like half an hour?
- Me: Oh, if you're walking leisurely, yeah.
- Big Brother: I guess I could take a car service. (Pause) What about Manhattan?
- Me (wondering if I should tell him the truth or quote the exceptionally optimistic times listed by the MTA- I'm Yekki and so is BB- better go with the truth): Well, I'm about 25 stops away, so you've got to go all the way through Brooklyn. But you can get to Midtown in about an hour, depending on the time of day. (OK, so maybe I shaved off a few minutes people. What's a few minutes, right?)
- Big Brother: Listen, I'm talking to my friends in Williamsburg later, so...
- Me: Well, where else are you planning on going?
- Big Brother: Queens.
- Me: Oh. (DRAT) Well, you have to go the full length of the line, but that's the train that's near me, so...
- Big Brother: Look, I'll let you know.
- Me: Okay sure. You do what's most convenient for you.
But I would feel like a meanie if I did that. And he really should just stay where it's best for him.
Seriously though, he has me so well-trained: as soon as I got off the phone with him, I stopped what I was doing (it was after all, erev Shabbos) and made a list of items to check the house for in case he does wind up staying here. Like non-girly soap, ROFL. And I even decided what to bake: cookies, since I can make two types in the same batch. Big Brother likes variety.
Anyhow, let's say it all together: STAY WITH ME. Until Monday though, when I'm supposed to get the "official" word, I suppose I'll have to just wait and see. Is Walgreens still open? I'm running out of Kleenex.