Sunday, August 9, 2009

Notes from the Block

Everywhere I have lived "out of town", I have been able to at least visually identify my neighbours, if not also know their names and other pertinent details.

Not so on my block. Save the:
  • neighbours one door down
  • Chinese family three doors down
  • elderly Russian lady four doors down (who inexplicably started speaking to me last week after refraining from interacting these past 3.5+ years. [we now wave to each other])
  • young thug who walks his dog while chain smoking
  • two Chassidishe boys who gawk as they ride by on their bikes
  • block yenta
I have no clue who lives on my block. FYI, all of the identified parties live on my side of the street. That means the other side is an utter mystery.

So it came as not such a surprise this last layl Shabbos when I meet a young lady (Canadian no less!) who lives across the street and only 5 doors down from me. I had NEVER seen her before. That's almost as hilarious as how much she reminded me of myself at that age, down to the style of her skirt. A CANADIAN on my block and I was unaware. What a disgrace!

On a separate but related note, to all my male goyishe neighbours, young and old, the following is for you:

Please, please, please stop exiting your houses without your shirts. That behaviour is just gross. Same goes for shorts. I don't care how fabulous you feel you look (and I suppose, in turn, consider such displays to be a gift to the female population), I'm here to burst your bubble and inform you that the sight thereof is downright gag-worthy. In short, just put a shirt on already, and if you could throw on trousers as well, so much the better! Thought I would get that in before the heat wave this week.


  1. All the males who go around shirtless consider themselves G-d's gift to the humanity, and especially female population.

  2. Why goyish? What about me? Though I go out in a shirt usually.
    What's wrong with shorts?!

  3. M, the particular males in question on my block are goyim. As for my problem with shorts, re-read the post. Falls under the "ick" category, unless you're under 10 years of age, imho.

  4. How is that ick? Knees are ick? Huh?
    If G-d wanted us to wear clothes, he'd give us fur.

  5. Other than sefardim, not that much. ;-)