To put it differently, often we perceive events or our lives as "difficult" because we feel that something, somehow, is lacking. The spiritual reality is that in fact nothing is lacking, but due to our wavering bitachon, we get side-tracked thinking about what "should" be versus what is. We consequently talk ourselves into acting/speaking in ways that we shouldn't.
I find myself trying very hard to remain focussed on the fact that it is the 9 days, and that we are in a period of mourning. In other words, I am trying to keep in the forefront of my mind why we have the 9 days, what caused all the death and destruction we are mourning, and find productive ways to improve myself so that perhaps those positive changes can help change our lot as a people. Here is a prayer that I have concocted, which hopefully will help achieve that objective:
Hashem, please let me always keep you in the foreground of my heart and mind. Let me always speak appropriately and act as you see fit. Let me refrain from evil and strengthen me so that I can always steer clearly down your path of righteousness. Let me only think, say, and do what you expect of me, for you are my most Holy Creator, Father, and Redeemer. As I am rooted in this world, I can sometimes lose you from my sight. Hashem, forgive me for doing so, and let me instead act as a conduit for your bidding, now, always, forever. Selah.