This week was my dad's yartzheit, and it wound up being unexpectedly eventful. I won't bore everyone with the details (for once), but I will share a few points.
First, while my reaction was pretty much consistent with last year (see this post), the focus of the day shifted almost imperceptibly. Did I cry? Yes, once. But I managed this year, as opposed to last year, to truly contemplate the lessons that my father taught me through his example. More to the point, when I said tehillim this year, it wasn't numbly. Rather it was with tremendous concentration and purpose.
So as much as the day is still painful, yet another reminder of his physical absence from this world, I am slowly being able to fill the void every so slightly by applying what he taught me. In turn, as much as I definitely feel the lack caused by our inability to communicate tangibly, I am starting to fixate less on that lack, and instead sift through my internal repository to find answers to my questions. Because one thing I realised this week is that I have a repository of his point of view within me; I have internalised the examples he left me with his actions and his words.
And I suppose, in the end, that is what a parent is: the person who forms you and guides you, who acts as your teacher so that you can make your way in the world, eventually, without them. I hope that through my actions this week in his honour, his neshama can continue escalating through the heights in Olam Haba. Kisses!
Showing posts with label Mishpacha. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mishpacha. Show all posts
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Nostalgia
Back in the day (ok, waaaaay back in the day), I used to watch the Sunday matinee feature on fuzzy PBS from Plattsburgh. It was kind of a tradition I had with my Dad- cram ourselves into "the den", angle the rabbit ears for optimal reception on the 13" b&w (our only tv), and settle in for the two back-to-back features.
The matinees invariably consisted of film classics, and it was on those Sunday afternoons that I fell in love with film. Music, literature- those I lived and breathed already, courtesy of my Mom the Musician, and my proclivity for writing. But film? That I attribute to good ol' PBS. Without them, I would've never found myself switching my major to Film Studies in university.
It was on those Sundays afternoons that I fell head over heels for Film Noir. Something about the moral ambiguity of the characters, the drama, the vague cheesiness, and most of all the light that our little set captured so marvellously- I was just hooked. To this day, I rank Sunset Boulevard as my favourite William Holden film, and Touch of Evil as just plain epic. Forget Psycho- Janet Leigh in Touch of Evil is AWESOME.
So imagine my surprise when MSN, not exactly a bastion of information typically relevant to my life, posts a Film Noir quiz? Sweet! You can take the quiz here. Thanks MSN, for a quick trip down memory lane.
The matinees invariably consisted of film classics, and it was on those Sunday afternoons that I fell in love with film. Music, literature- those I lived and breathed already, courtesy of my Mom the Musician, and my proclivity for writing. But film? That I attribute to good ol' PBS. Without them, I would've never found myself switching my major to Film Studies in university.
It was on those Sundays afternoons that I fell head over heels for Film Noir. Something about the moral ambiguity of the characters, the drama, the vague cheesiness, and most of all the light that our little set captured so marvellously- I was just hooked. To this day, I rank Sunset Boulevard as my favourite William Holden film, and Touch of Evil as just plain epic. Forget Psycho- Janet Leigh in Touch of Evil is AWESOME.
So imagine my surprise when MSN, not exactly a bastion of information typically relevant to my life, posts a Film Noir quiz? Sweet! You can take the quiz here. Thanks MSN, for a quick trip down memory lane.
Friday, May 22, 2009
It's the Company You Keep
Since I have not composed a dvar torah in a long while, I felt it high-time to record a thought on this week's parshah, Bamidbar.
In this week's parshah, we learn that the 4-line formation of the tribes around the tabernacle mimics the formation of angels around the Heavenly Throne in shemayim (Badmidbar Rabbah). In turn, the colour of the tribal flags corresponded to their tribal stones on the Choshen Mishpat. In light of these associations with the divine, the question remains: how did the formations provide insight into the core qualities of the tribes?
When we look back at the beracha that Yaacov/Yisroel bestowed upon each tribe on his deathbed, the over-arching impression is of rebuke. Here, in his final moments, a father was summarizing each of his son's various shortcomings, with the occasional allusion to a son's potential strengths. Yet the true meaning of each "rebuke" was in fact to illustrate where each son's strengths lay. To rephrase, if a given son overcame the middot that caused these previous shortcomings, the son would find strength in that same quality. It is the channeling of the given energy, and the turning a negative into a positive, which is the wish of any parent for their child. So to was this true of Yaacov/Yisroel's portraits of each tribe.
These key characteristics of the tribes carries over into their formations around the mishkan. Each line included three tribes, and these lines were the same as the ones drawn by Yaacov himself for escorting his body to Eretz Yisroel for burial (Rashi). In essence, the alignment of the tribes was prescribed by Yaacov through ruach hakodesh in alignment with the key characteristics of the various brothers. Who else but a parent is capable of recognizing which alliances between his children will reap them moral and spiritual benefit? And it is these alliances that we see alluded to in these formations.
To briefly summarize, the four formations were/are the following:
What becomes apparent immediately is that in each of the four categories, the characteristic of one supports/counteracts the characteristic of the others in their respective formation (Ramban). In turn, the ranking (1, 2, 3, 4) implies the relative status of each in the klal (monarchy versus army versus commerce, and so on). Each brother played their respective part in the family's story, as it were, and together formed a cohesive unit by following their "destined" paths.
Yet how does a parent instill in a child a sense of urgency regarding their destined lot in life? How can a parent encourage their child to flourish versus throw away their ingrained strengths, chasve shalom? To paraphrase some thoughts from Rav Twerski, shlita, it is by demonstrating to each child, in the way that is appropriate for the child, what the parent feels is important. And in order for these teachings to resonate with the child, the parent must demonstrate that the parent sincerely believes in what they are espousing by consistently, genuinely remaining true to their viewpoints. By understanding that each son was unique and needed to be spoken to in a manner befitting the son's mode of understanding, Yaacov helped each son focus on their assigned mission in life. These multiple missions were in turn associated with one another, as illustrated by the formations, to help each tribe to adhere to their respective mission after Yaacov's passing.
By drawing on these lessons hopefully even in this generation, when permissiveness and indulgence runs rampant, we can nurture the generations that follow to use their individual gifts to serve the klal, and by extension, Hashem. Good Shabbos!
In this week's parshah, we learn that the 4-line formation of the tribes around the tabernacle mimics the formation of angels around the Heavenly Throne in shemayim (Badmidbar Rabbah). In turn, the colour of the tribal flags corresponded to their tribal stones on the Choshen Mishpat. In light of these associations with the divine, the question remains: how did the formations provide insight into the core qualities of the tribes?
When we look back at the beracha that Yaacov/Yisroel bestowed upon each tribe on his deathbed, the over-arching impression is of rebuke. Here, in his final moments, a father was summarizing each of his son's various shortcomings, with the occasional allusion to a son's potential strengths. Yet the true meaning of each "rebuke" was in fact to illustrate where each son's strengths lay. To rephrase, if a given son overcame the middot that caused these previous shortcomings, the son would find strength in that same quality. It is the channeling of the given energy, and the turning a negative into a positive, which is the wish of any parent for their child. So to was this true of Yaacov/Yisroel's portraits of each tribe.
These key characteristics of the tribes carries over into their formations around the mishkan. Each line included three tribes, and these lines were the same as the ones drawn by Yaacov himself for escorting his body to Eretz Yisroel for burial (Rashi). In essence, the alignment of the tribes was prescribed by Yaacov through ruach hakodesh in alignment with the key characteristics of the various brothers. Who else but a parent is capable of recognizing which alliances between his children will reap them moral and spiritual benefit? And it is these alliances that we see alluded to in these formations.
To briefly summarize, the four formations were/are the following:
- Yehuda (Monarch), Issachar (Torah), Zebulun (Support of Torah)
- Reuven (Repentance) , Shimeon (Men of the Sword), Gad (Strength)
- Ephraim, Menasheh (Spiritual Strength/Descendants of the Patriarchs), Benjamin (Fearless Warrior)
- Dan (Hidden), Asher (Illumination), Naphtali (Beautiful [Spiritual] Sayings)
What becomes apparent immediately is that in each of the four categories, the characteristic of one supports/counteracts the characteristic of the others in their respective formation (Ramban). In turn, the ranking (1, 2, 3, 4) implies the relative status of each in the klal (monarchy versus army versus commerce, and so on). Each brother played their respective part in the family's story, as it were, and together formed a cohesive unit by following their "destined" paths.
Yet how does a parent instill in a child a sense of urgency regarding their destined lot in life? How can a parent encourage their child to flourish versus throw away their ingrained strengths, chasve shalom? To paraphrase some thoughts from Rav Twerski, shlita, it is by demonstrating to each child, in the way that is appropriate for the child, what the parent feels is important. And in order for these teachings to resonate with the child, the parent must demonstrate that the parent sincerely believes in what they are espousing by consistently, genuinely remaining true to their viewpoints. By understanding that each son was unique and needed to be spoken to in a manner befitting the son's mode of understanding, Yaacov helped each son focus on their assigned mission in life. These multiple missions were in turn associated with one another, as illustrated by the formations, to help each tribe to adhere to their respective mission after Yaacov's passing.
By drawing on these lessons hopefully even in this generation, when permissiveness and indulgence runs rampant, we can nurture the generations that follow to use their individual gifts to serve the klal, and by extension, Hashem. Good Shabbos!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
All the Mommies in Hashem's Kingdom
Chalk it up to anthropomorphism if you will, but I found this article about animal moms fascinating. Especially since two of my faves, the cheetah and the polar, made the list. :)
Happy Greeting Card Day, everyone!
Happy Greeting Card Day, everyone!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Mom's BDay
It was my Mom's birthday a few days ago, and boy is she just too cute. I called to apologize profusely for not getting a gift to her on time (I can't seem to remember what date it is lately), and she was very non-pulsed. Then again, maybe she was appeased by my singing Happy Birthday to her 3 times. (She claims I still have a good octave, LOL.)
After the singing, she did some of her own. Turns out she composed a little ditty to help her remember her age. I was like, Mom can we mint you? She is just hilarious. When the Rabbi asked her what she'll do next year after she told him about the ditty, she nonchalantly replied that she would think up something else. You go Mommy!
Here's wishing her a happy, healthy, peaceful, contented year, bli ayin hara!!!
After the singing, she did some of her own. Turns out she composed a little ditty to help her remember her age. I was like, Mom can we mint you? She is just hilarious. When the Rabbi asked her what she'll do next year after she told him about the ditty, she nonchalantly replied that she would think up something else. You go Mommy!
Here's wishing her a happy, healthy, peaceful, contented year, bli ayin hara!!!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Sooo Coooool
My dear mother used to do needlepoint; my guess is that it functioned as a much needed point of relaxation in her life- given who her children were. :p Needlepoint pieces were consequently featured throughout the house, including my favourite, one of a Shabbos table in the "dining room".
She even taught me a few stitches, although I don't think I ever quite finished a piece. Hmmm. Kind of like all of those rolls of film I took in the '70s/'80s that sat in my camera until they expired.
Anyhow, my good friend Silka sent out an email that included some amazing knitted items for Pesach. You've got to check these out. To borrow one of her catch phrases, "Very amazing".
Here's wishing everyone a chag sameach for the last days of Pesach.
She even taught me a few stitches, although I don't think I ever quite finished a piece. Hmmm. Kind of like all of those rolls of film I took in the '70s/'80s that sat in my camera until they expired.
Anyhow, my good friend Silka sent out an email that included some amazing knitted items for Pesach. You've got to check these out. To borrow one of her catch phrases, "Very amazing".
Here's wishing everyone a chag sameach for the last days of Pesach.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Phone Home
I finally got a hold of my Mom. Thank Goodness! We caught up and I sang Ma Nishtanah for her- with her coaxing me, because darned if I remembered the words. Either time, LOL.
She in turn told me the following joke:
A snake wasn't feeling well, so he slithered into the doctor's office. After a thorough examination, the doctor exited the room and came back with two small white pills. The snake asked him, "Do you know what's wrong with me"? The doctor said he didn't. So the snake asked "What are those?". The doctor replied "Viagra. You have a reptile dysfunction".
I couldn't stop laughing.
On a less funny note, we commiserated about how hard Pesach is without my Dad and my grandfather. I told her that I've been leaving the sedorim before I hear the songs because I don't want to forget how my Dad sang them. She said that of course I did.
After we swapped stories of our respective Pesach purchases, I let her go to attend to her nightly schedule. Given how I felt when I hung up, I think I'm already overdue for another visit home.
She in turn told me the following joke:
A snake wasn't feeling well, so he slithered into the doctor's office. After a thorough examination, the doctor exited the room and came back with two small white pills. The snake asked him, "Do you know what's wrong with me"? The doctor said he didn't. So the snake asked "What are those?". The doctor replied "Viagra. You have a reptile dysfunction".
I couldn't stop laughing.
On a less funny note, we commiserated about how hard Pesach is without my Dad and my grandfather. I told her that I've been leaving the sedorim before I hear the songs because I don't want to forget how my Dad sang them. She said that of course I did.
After we swapped stories of our respective Pesach purchases, I let her go to attend to her nightly schedule. Given how I felt when I hung up, I think I'm already overdue for another visit home.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Flatbush Gone Mad
It was insanity everywhere this afternoon when I exited the apartment in search of tape. After three long hours of going around the local shops and avoiding all but two because of the sardine-like conditions, I scored two rolls (Thank You Hashem for Bargain Hunters!). Which have since been used up, naturally. I decided that I should be smart and also popped in to Mountain Fruit to score a few yogurts. They were only moderately busy, so I would suggest that if you're around there, you might want to check out their Pesach offerings. FYI, people were parking way up past Ocean Parkway to go shopping at Moisha's Discount.
On a positive note, I finished off the entire house, save doing bedikah chometz and unpacking my Pesach essentials. I even cleaned the bathroom/floors, because I had to put my cleaning supplies away and seal up the closet. It's down to the wire here, and I'm counting the hours until I can plug in my new water urn and have myself a well-deserved cup of tea.
In other news (yes, something besides Pesach. Shocking!), I just got a phone call from BB. He may be coming down the weekend after Pesach. He actually wanted to come down for the Shabbos after Pesach, i.e. the day after the chag, but I told him that between switching back the house and working Friday, I didn't think I could handle a house guest. So instead it's looking like he'll be coming in on the Sunday and staying a few days. WOO-HOO.
Of course, after the disappointment last time, I'm not going to plan anything until he gets on that bus. But it's a nice surprise, which I'm sure I'll enjoy more when I wake up in the morning after getting some sleep, LOL. Here's wishing everyone mazel with their remaining preparations.
On a positive note, I finished off the entire house, save doing bedikah chometz and unpacking my Pesach essentials. I even cleaned the bathroom/floors, because I had to put my cleaning supplies away and seal up the closet. It's down to the wire here, and I'm counting the hours until I can plug in my new water urn and have myself a well-deserved cup of tea.
In other news (yes, something besides Pesach. Shocking!), I just got a phone call from BB. He may be coming down the weekend after Pesach. He actually wanted to come down for the Shabbos after Pesach, i.e. the day after the chag, but I told him that between switching back the house and working Friday, I didn't think I could handle a house guest. So instead it's looking like he'll be coming in on the Sunday and staying a few days. WOO-HOO.
Of course, after the disappointment last time, I'm not going to plan anything until he gets on that bus. But it's a nice surprise, which I'm sure I'll enjoy more when I wake up in the morning after getting some sleep, LOL. Here's wishing everyone mazel with their remaining preparations.
Friday, April 3, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BB!
AHEM!
Mi mi mi mi mi mi!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Yankel
Happy birthday to you!
And maaaaannnnny more!!!
Love you!
Your Crazy Little Sister
Mi mi mi mi mi mi!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Yankel
Happy birthday to you!
And maaaaannnnny more!!!
Love you!
Your Crazy Little Sister
Friday, March 20, 2009
ARGH
Drat. Just when I thought my Mom would be having a great week (she had a bunch of outings planned), I learn this afternoon that all heck broke lose instead. Sigh. Why can't the poor woman catch a break???
Anyway, it just underscored how much I wish I could just arrange things to head back up north for a while and help her out. With Hashem's help, hopefully I can arrange something.
On a totally different note, what was with the snow this morning? I understand that spring has not really sprung yet, what with the cool nights still upon us, but I will admit that I thought snow was no longer in the cards. Well, it certainly isn't the first time I've been wrong, LOL.
I know I'm long overdue for a dvar torah. Truth be told, I barely got through the parshot and haftorah by today. Bli neder, I'll be able to get one in before Pesach.
Here's wishing everyone a good Shabbos!
Anyway, it just underscored how much I wish I could just arrange things to head back up north for a while and help her out. With Hashem's help, hopefully I can arrange something.
On a totally different note, what was with the snow this morning? I understand that spring has not really sprung yet, what with the cool nights still upon us, but I will admit that I thought snow was no longer in the cards. Well, it certainly isn't the first time I've been wrong, LOL.
I know I'm long overdue for a dvar torah. Truth be told, I barely got through the parshot and haftorah by today. Bli neder, I'll be able to get one in before Pesach.
Here's wishing everyone a good Shabbos!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Unrelated Updates
Two updates of note.
First, last week my mom went the doctor who "rolled his eyes" at her and told her to come back in a year. YAY!!!
Second, and on similarly cheery note (literally), I woke to the "chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, cheeeeee" of Mr. Cardinal. Looks like he's set up shop for the time being in the backyard tree. It sure makes for a lovely workday, as I have been listening to him serenade the neighbourhood with quite the eager concert all afternoon so far. (I gather that he took a break post-wake up call for a worm tidbit.)
Pretty good for a Monday, eh?
First, last week my mom went the doctor who "rolled his eyes" at her and told her to come back in a year. YAY!!!
Second, and on similarly cheery note (literally), I woke to the "chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, cheeeeee" of Mr. Cardinal. Looks like he's set up shop for the time being in the backyard tree. It sure makes for a lovely workday, as I have been listening to him serenade the neighbourhood with quite the eager concert all afternoon so far. (I gather that he took a break post-wake up call for a worm tidbit.)
Pretty good for a Monday, eh?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Best Line
I spoke to my Mom to wish her a Happy Purim. She was so cute, as usual. And it reminded me of a line she uttered last week, to my utter amazement:
"I could talk to you forever"
Now, you see? Right there's a prime example of the ability that Moms alone to make us feel oh so great. Mom, you're the best!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
How Frum are YOU?
Back in the day, when I was dating and on some of the frummie dating sites for a month at a time, I had to categorize my level of frumkeit. So since, love it or leave it, I have always tended to be a bit of a "square peg in a round hole", I decided to consult with an expert. Enter my brother, aka the Rabbi who got smicha down Monsey way.
I mentioned that maybe I would go with Modern Yeshivish. Definitely modern, but the yekkish Virgo tendancies caused me to swing more to the Yeshivish side. His response: I refer to myself as Modern Orthodox, but machmir. :)
Anyway, I just took the Orthodoxy Test, which breaks down by percentages your scoring under the different subcategories. My score was overwhelmingly (79%!) in favour of Left Wing Yeshivish:
To which I must respond: DUH! But BB will be pleased nonetheless. :) My favourite question? "The Internet is". 'Cause if you're taking this test, LOL...
I mentioned that maybe I would go with Modern Yeshivish. Definitely modern, but the yekkish Virgo tendancies caused me to swing more to the Yeshivish side. His response: I refer to myself as Modern Orthodox, but machmir. :)
Anyway, I just took the Orthodoxy Test, which breaks down by percentages your scoring under the different subcategories. My score was overwhelmingly (79%!) in favour of Left Wing Yeshivish:
The Orthodoxy Test
says that I'm Left Wing Yeshivish
What does it mean?
So you're frum, but "with it." You know the lingo and walk the walk, but maybe you catch a movie on Motzei Shabbos. Never on Saturday Night though. Sometimes you wonder why all frum Jews can't be normal like you.
To which I must respond: DUH! But BB will be pleased nonetheless. :) My favourite question? "The Internet is". 'Cause if you're taking this test, LOL...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
If It's Good Enough for Chassidim...
My father, olev hashalom, was a true Yekki- he believed in balance, and knew with absolute clarity what was morally right in any given situation. He worked hard his entire life while ensuring that he came home by 5 PM so that he was available to instruct and otherwise act as a resource to his family. He davened, and when he did, the true depth of his frumkeit was evident to all. The man worked until but a few months before his death.
You wouldn't want to have heard his opinion on the kollel system. A man balances learning and supporting his family. End of story. Or, to use a recent example from the Shabbos table:
My friend's mother, The Bubbe, looked at her grandson-in-law across the table. The Bubbe is one sharp lady, and worked up until last year, when she was but a tender 80-something. The given young man is a father of three children under the age of 5 who has never done anything in terms of parnassah except learn. When the discussion turned to the economy and its effects on the kollel system, The Bubbe turned her kind eye to the grandson-in-law and quipped "Him? What would he do? He's never done anything except learn!". The consensus was that he may soon have to turn to learning a trade/earning a buck, chasve shalom!
The fuel for this post? A moment of clarity summed up in a post by MikeinMidwood:
Lazy Way Out. Mike, you made my father proud!
You wouldn't want to have heard his opinion on the kollel system. A man balances learning and supporting his family. End of story. Or, to use a recent example from the Shabbos table:
My friend's mother, The Bubbe, looked at her grandson-in-law across the table. The Bubbe is one sharp lady, and worked up until last year, when she was but a tender 80-something. The given young man is a father of three children under the age of 5 who has never done anything in terms of parnassah except learn. When the discussion turned to the economy and its effects on the kollel system, The Bubbe turned her kind eye to the grandson-in-law and quipped "Him? What would he do? He's never done anything except learn!". The consensus was that he may soon have to turn to learning a trade/earning a buck, chasve shalom!
The fuel for this post? A moment of clarity summed up in a post by MikeinMidwood:
Lazy Way Out. Mike, you made my father proud!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
BB Update
SNIFF.
It turns out that BB is feeling under the weather, and not up to travelling. The trip to NYC this weekend is consequently postponed until around Purim.
The consolation is that he promises (bli neder) that when he does come he'll stay with me. So at least now I have plenty of advance notice, which is good.
Still, I'm sooooooo disappointed. :( But I guess the anticipation will make it that much better once he does come to town.
Good thing I bought extra Kleenex last night at Moishas...
It turns out that BB is feeling under the weather, and not up to travelling. The trip to NYC this weekend is consequently postponed until around Purim.
The consolation is that he promises (bli neder) that when he does come he'll stay with me. So at least now I have plenty of advance notice, which is good.
Still, I'm sooooooo disappointed. :( But I guess the anticipation will make it that much better once he does come to town.
Good thing I bought extra Kleenex last night at Moishas...
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Patience versus Leisure
When it comes to patience, I like to think that I'm somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I certainly wouldn't claim to be very patient, but I generally do try to talk myself into extending my level of calm when necessary.
The current case in question that brought this middah to mind: the fact that BB has yet to inform me whether or not he will be staying with me as of tomorrow night.
Now, I don't really mind that he didn't let me know as I had originally asked by Monday, because I understand that he's waiting to hear back from his friends. And when last night came and went, which was the deadline he had himself set for informing me one way or another, I assumed he was of course, still waiting. Since his friends are in Williamsburg, I understand that they operate on a Chassidishe concept and approach to time.
The snafu comes in with the fact that I'm Yekki, not Chassidishe. As such, I have my usual weekday list of What to Do Each Night in preparation for Shabbos, etc. Add to the mix that yesterday I received a staggering amount of work, all due Friday. In short, I'm totally stressed out, because I'm beginning to recognize that my list of What to Do will probably not get done. For a Yekki to have to start thinking about doing things quickly instead of leisurely, or to not do them at all- well, suffice it to say that such a situation is perhaps the most frustrating of all.
So about an hour ago I found my patience really waning due to the pressure cooker factor. I decided, in an attempt to let patience and restraint prevail, to default the increasing pressure by phoning my brother. Seven Ricola candies, and one even more sore throat than I thought humanly possible later, and still no word from the Chassidshe friend. But promises to know by tomorrow morning.
Having deflated the unbearable pressure though, that's okay. And hey, if I don't end up cleaning my floors or the washroom before Shabbos, the world won't end.
Well, okay, maybe for me it will. But at least I was okay there for a few seconds, right?
The current case in question that brought this middah to mind: the fact that BB has yet to inform me whether or not he will be staying with me as of tomorrow night.
Now, I don't really mind that he didn't let me know as I had originally asked by Monday, because I understand that he's waiting to hear back from his friends. And when last night came and went, which was the deadline he had himself set for informing me one way or another, I assumed he was of course, still waiting. Since his friends are in Williamsburg, I understand that they operate on a Chassidishe concept and approach to time.
The snafu comes in with the fact that I'm Yekki, not Chassidishe. As such, I have my usual weekday list of What to Do Each Night in preparation for Shabbos, etc. Add to the mix that yesterday I received a staggering amount of work, all due Friday. In short, I'm totally stressed out, because I'm beginning to recognize that my list of What to Do will probably not get done. For a Yekki to have to start thinking about doing things quickly instead of leisurely, or to not do them at all- well, suffice it to say that such a situation is perhaps the most frustrating of all.
So about an hour ago I found my patience really waning due to the pressure cooker factor. I decided, in an attempt to let patience and restraint prevail, to default the increasing pressure by phoning my brother. Seven Ricola candies, and one even more sore throat than I thought humanly possible later, and still no word from the Chassidshe friend. But promises to know by tomorrow morning.
Having deflated the unbearable pressure though, that's okay. And hey, if I don't end up cleaning my floors or the washroom before Shabbos, the world won't end.
Well, okay, maybe for me it will. But at least I was okay there for a few seconds, right?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Little Girl Needs Prayers
My brother-in-law's little girl was admitted to hospital erev Shabbos. Turns out she had been complaining for the past week about pain in her leg, and it wound up being a virus that is spreading in the frum community between children. The virus causes an infection in the leg that, if left untreated, can progress to the joints and cause irreparable damage.
B'H' they caught it in time, and she's now in hospital on IV as they try and rid the virus from her system. So if everyone could please daven for:
Shoshana Miriam bat Chana
And if any of you hear of a child complaining of pain in their leg, don't disregard it immediately as "just growing pains". It could be something else!
B'H' they caught it in time, and she's now in hospital on IV as they try and rid the virus from her system. So if everyone could please daven for:
Shoshana Miriam bat Chana
And if any of you hear of a child complaining of pain in their leg, don't disregard it immediately as "just growing pains". It could be something else!
Brotherly Love
My brother mentioned a couple of weeks ago that he was coming to town the week after next. So when I called him this erev Shabbos to chat, he informed that he was in fact arriving later this week.
Since my brother's basic nature since birth is Mr. Social to the nine-millionth degree, I know full well that if he does not stay with me, I will not see him except for the hour or so he'll pencil me in for- during which time a very conservative 45 minutes will be devoted to receiving phone calls from his never-ending stream of friends. As fitting to his crown (Mr. Popular), he knows half of New York, and is currently sussing out his options in the lodging department. Upon hearing that staying with me was basically his "safety" option, we entered comedy routine territory, in which I basically played the role of Cheerleader in what I will title "Stay with Me!".
But I would feel like a meanie if I did that. And he really should just stay where it's best for him.
Seriously though, he has me so well-trained: as soon as I got off the phone with him, I stopped what I was doing (it was after all, erev Shabbos) and made a list of items to check the house for in case he does wind up staying here. Like non-girly soap, ROFL. And I even decided what to bake: cookies, since I can make two types in the same batch. Big Brother likes variety.
Anyhow, let's say it all together: STAY WITH ME. Until Monday though, when I'm supposed to get the "official" word, I suppose I'll have to just wait and see. Is Walgreens still open? I'm running out of Kleenex.
Since my brother's basic nature since birth is Mr. Social to the nine-millionth degree, I know full well that if he does not stay with me, I will not see him except for the hour or so he'll pencil me in for- during which time a very conservative 45 minutes will be devoted to receiving phone calls from his never-ending stream of friends. As fitting to his crown (Mr. Popular), he knows half of New York, and is currently sussing out his options in the lodging department. Upon hearing that staying with me was basically his "safety" option, we entered comedy routine territory, in which I basically played the role of Cheerleader in what I will title "Stay with Me!".
- Me: Listen, just stay with me...
- Big Brother: Wow, that's so nice. (Long pause to be polite before getting down into the nitty-gritty) Well, how far are you from Boro Park?
- Me (thinking YAY, one point for stay with me!): Oh, very close. You can walk in. I'm right on the border.
- Big Brother: How far a walk is it?
- Me (palms beginning to sweat): Well, uhm, it depends of course how far in you're going...
- Big Brother: What? Like half an hour?
- Me: Oh, if you're walking leisurely, yeah.
- Big Brother: I guess I could take a car service. (Pause) What about Manhattan?
- Me (wondering if I should tell him the truth or quote the exceptionally optimistic times listed by the MTA- I'm Yekki and so is BB- better go with the truth): Well, I'm about 25 stops away, so you've got to go all the way through Brooklyn. But you can get to Midtown in about an hour, depending on the time of day. (OK, so maybe I shaved off a few minutes people. What's a few minutes, right?)
- Big Brother: Listen, I'm talking to my friends in Williamsburg later, so...
- Me: Well, where else are you planning on going?
- Big Brother: Queens.
- Me: Oh. (DRAT) Well, you have to go the full length of the line, but that's the train that's near me, so...
- Big Brother: Look, I'll let you know.
- Me: Okay sure. You do what's most convenient for you.
But I would feel like a meanie if I did that. And he really should just stay where it's best for him.
Seriously though, he has me so well-trained: as soon as I got off the phone with him, I stopped what I was doing (it was after all, erev Shabbos) and made a list of items to check the house for in case he does wind up staying here. Like non-girly soap, ROFL. And I even decided what to bake: cookies, since I can make two types in the same batch. Big Brother likes variety.
Anyhow, let's say it all together: STAY WITH ME. Until Monday though, when I'm supposed to get the "official" word, I suppose I'll have to just wait and see. Is Walgreens still open? I'm running out of Kleenex.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Word!
Back when I lived on the West Coast, I had a friend, a real sweetheart of a guy. While he had been born Jewish, he had decided as an adult to turn his "spiritual" inclination to the Numerologists. Basically, the gist of that cult/belief system was that the numerical value related to an item was intrinsically connected to its spiritual destiny. In turn, he changed his name when he joined the "organization", the irony of which was that he wound up taking a biblical name. Strangely, I was actually the one who informed him of that fact.
Anyhow, we were once conversing, and he uttered a wonderful phrase: A word spoken can never be taken back. Now, we've all heard something similar, but that instance was the first time I heard it, and while I was certainly aware of the halachas of lashon hara, etc., it resonated with me. Not only does it cover the area of be careful in how you speak to others, it also expands to encompass how your thoughts are shaped by the words you say.
This evening, I was discussing my life, as one generally does when catching up with friends and family. Yet as I was talking, I remembered this instance with my West Coast friend, and it really struck me how the words we speak shape our reality. While we certainly all recognize this fundamental truth, it bears repeating: How we think about our lives is how we perceive our lives. And our choice of words simply feeds into that perception, and relays that perception to others. In short, the words we speak affect not only ourselves, but those who hear them, because it is through words that we fundamentally form relationships and connect with people. The words we speak consequently shape ourselves, our reality, and the reality of those nearest and dearest to us.
I think I'll try and keep that in the forefront of my mind for the time being. :)
Anyhow, we were once conversing, and he uttered a wonderful phrase: A word spoken can never be taken back. Now, we've all heard something similar, but that instance was the first time I heard it, and while I was certainly aware of the halachas of lashon hara, etc., it resonated with me. Not only does it cover the area of be careful in how you speak to others, it also expands to encompass how your thoughts are shaped by the words you say.
This evening, I was discussing my life, as one generally does when catching up with friends and family. Yet as I was talking, I remembered this instance with my West Coast friend, and it really struck me how the words we speak shape our reality. While we certainly all recognize this fundamental truth, it bears repeating: How we think about our lives is how we perceive our lives. And our choice of words simply feeds into that perception, and relays that perception to others. In short, the words we speak affect not only ourselves, but those who hear them, because it is through words that we fundamentally form relationships and connect with people. The words we speak consequently shape ourselves, our reality, and the reality of those nearest and dearest to us.
I think I'll try and keep that in the forefront of my mind for the time being. :)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Pearl of Wisdom
I was speaking to my Mom, and we were telling each other about how our days went, when my Mom dropped a real nugget. I was busy relating the ups and downs of my day and hit the highlight: I found a teapot in exactly the colour that I wanted, so now all I have to do is toivel it, since it's glass. Earlier in the week I found Twinings tea certified by the Beit Din of London, but have been waiting to drink it until I could get my hands on a proper tea pot. Now I'm all set!
Most people, when they review their day, tend to tally up the pros and cons before determining whether the day was "good" or "bad". Not my Mom! Upon hearing about the teapot find, what did she quip?: "Oh, so you had a successful day then!". There's the glass half full people, the glass half empty people, and then there's my mother. By virtue of one good thing happening in a day, the entire day is deemed good.
Now that's the way I hope I can begin viewing my life!
Most people, when they review their day, tend to tally up the pros and cons before determining whether the day was "good" or "bad". Not my Mom! Upon hearing about the teapot find, what did she quip?: "Oh, so you had a successful day then!". There's the glass half full people, the glass half empty people, and then there's my mother. By virtue of one good thing happening in a day, the entire day is deemed good.
Now that's the way I hope I can begin viewing my life!
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