My father, olev hashalom, was a true Yekki- he believed in balance, and knew with absolute clarity what was morally right in any given situation. He worked hard his entire life while ensuring that he came home by 5 PM so that he was available to instruct and otherwise act as a resource to his family. He davened, and when he did, the true depth of his frumkeit was evident to all. The man worked until but a few months before his death.
You wouldn't want to have heard his opinion on the kollel system. A man balances learning and supporting his family. End of story. Or, to use a recent example from the Shabbos table:
My friend's mother, The Bubbe, looked at her grandson-in-law across the table. The Bubbe is one sharp lady, and worked up until last year, when she was but a tender 80-something. The given young man is a father of three children under the age of 5 who has never done anything in terms of parnassah except learn. When the discussion turned to the economy and its effects on the kollel system, The Bubbe turned her kind eye to the grandson-in-law and quipped "Him? What would he do? He's never done anything except learn!". The consensus was that he may soon have to turn to learning a trade/earning a buck, chasve shalom!
The fuel for this post? A moment of clarity summed up in a post by MikeinMidwood:
Lazy Way Out. Mike, you made my father proud!
Being on the receiving end of these comments, coming from Bubbes, Zaidis, well-meaning co-workers, relatives, relatives' co-workers, etc, I can tell you first hand that some things that would be unfathomable and utterly rude to say to anyone else are completely OK to say to these kollel people. At least from the perspective of these well-meaning people. And these comments are never welcome.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you first hand that some things that would be unfathomable and utterly rude to say to anyone else are completely OK to say to these kollel people. At least from the perspective of these well-meaning people. And these comments are never welcome.
ReplyDeleteSW, I feel you, although I don't think that families in kollel are the only targets for the "utterly rude yet well-meaning" comment. I have frequently been on the receiving end of such comments myself, on topic that run the gamut of frummie life. Yet such comments appear to be par for the course in Brooklyn, with Brooklynites tending to be quite emphatic that these comments constitute "Freedom of Speech". I can't tell you how many times such comments have been defended with lines such as "This is Brooklyn. We speak our mind here".
I consider it part of the "Brooklyn charm". :p