The Strange Behaviour of the Yekki Mind

I was once sitting at the Shabbos table of my dear friend, a fellow Yekki. The topic being discussed was, unfortunately, infestation, and the teller of the saga noted that the given insect does not take to the kitchen, for whatever reason. To which my friend quipped "But why don't they like the kitchen?". I was on the floor. What a Yekkish thing to ask!

There are certain aspects of the Yekkish mind you just need to accept. We go from point a to point b. We examine, in an orderly fashion, all the minute details. Two recent moments in the past few days have been hysterically funny to me, for precisely their un-Yekkish nature.

First, I went to the mall motzei Shabbos and while there, stopped at the MAC counter to peruse the concealer (one of my two makeup essentials, the other being lip gloss). The associate was most enthusiastic, and although I really just wanted to find out about the different products in their line, she insisted on the royal treatment. I wound up with her test-driving not only concealer, but powder and blush on me. While I looked nice and all, the reality is that I think only one product should be necessary, and I did look quite pale, despite the blush. So my mind has since fixated on why she chose the colour of concealer that she did, since she wound up needing two additional products to return me to how I normally look. Thus far I've determined that she a) wanted to do something nice for me, because I waited almost 30 minutes, b) was bored (it was almost closing time), and c) wanted to sell as many products as possible. The funniest part of the whole ordeal was that I had an allergic reaction to one of the products and had to race home to remove the mask, LOL.

And then, I woke up yesterday and got the rent cheque ready, thinking that it was January 31. Being a Yekki though, I like dropping it off before evening on the 1st, so I figured that as I was going out to run my errands anyway, why not drop off the cheque on my way out? You can imagine my surprise then when I realized later in the afternoon that it was, in fact, already February 1. What had happened to my internal Yekki clock/calendar? I'm the girl my friends say you can set your watch by!!!

What can I tell you? We Yekkis are a breed unto ourselves...