Changes

The solar new year is a little over 48 hours away, and I figured it was the right time to stop talking about starting up a blog and, as Nike used to say, Just Do It! So, here we go...

I was thinking this past Shabbat/Shabbos about change, and why people are generally so adverse to it. Maybe because of all the news stories this week about resolutions got me thinking. Anyway, it is true that, as I get older, my need for stability increases, but that's probably a reaction to having experienced so much change over the course of my little life here on Earth. And especially the last few years. More on that in a moment.

But, generally speaking, I think that people should try to embrace change, because without change, how can we grow as individuals? After all, what's stagnation, but a lack of moving forward/progressing, i.e. standing still? It's precisely due to the transformative nature of change that we tend to shy away from it. Because transformation carries power. And, I suppose, we like to try to control our dalet amos as much as we can. So when we run up against change, change has to take us kicking and screaming forward.

As I mentioned, it has occurred to me that I've become simultaneously less resistant to change and more prone to seeking stability. Of course, my life has been transformed to an incredible degree in the past few years. Just a few of the highlights from that time frame include:

• I made two major moves, first from Canada to deep into the US, then cross-country back to the Northeast
• I got married, and divorced
• I became more observant (from Modern Orthodox to full-blow yeshivish Rebbetizin)
• My entire immediate family experienced life-threatening illness
• I was myself saved from death three times, including twice within a span of just 6 months (first following a major car accident, and then from complications from the life-saving surgery I underwent due to the accident)
• I lost my father
• I got remarried to a man with a good heart (I had to end on a positive note, no?)

So, a lot of change. But the upshot is that I'm thankful for everything in my life, despite my complaining sometimes about whatever is going on. I mean hey, I can complain. I'm human, not a malach, you know? In the end though, I focus on the fact that I'm just paying my spiritual dues now versus paying later. And that's A-OK by me, because it shows that Hashem loves me...

I'll end with this very valuable lesson, which is the impetus for this blog. It's a lesson I've learned the hard way, B'H', namely that life is so very precious, so very fragile, and so very much a gift in all of its forms, phases, and manifestations. And that all its changes are chances to make us better people. Because I know for sure that I'm not perfect, and in the end, that's fine. It just gives me fodder to work on. So we should try to embrace what life throws our way. In the end, it's all good, as they say. And there's nothing wrong with that!

Shavua tov!